Friday, 31 March 2017

My Edit Writing

WALT - Edit writing

I am going to explain to you 4 special places I go to in my community.

The first special place that I am going to write is about school. School is good for children under the age of 5-13 year old's. School is special to me because you get educated by wonderful teachers who help you to learn many things about subjects. Such as reading, writing, science and maths. In school maths is my favourite subject. I love to add, subtract, multiply and divide.

This paragraph is my second special place and it is church. Every Sunday I go church with my family and learn the stories about god. When it is nearly the end of the year. we celebrate by having our youth perform dances and music. We often go church service on Wednesdays and have choirs. Church is special to me because it is the one thing that is always important to me and my family.  

Another special place to me is my home. Whenever i go somewhere far from home. I always feel I bit sad. Everyday I do chores and help clean the whole house. I sometimes cook breakfast for my siblings and help out my dad with the shopping. It is special to me because I am always with my family everywhere we go.

My last and best special place in my community is going to the  beach with my family. The beach that I go to is Tahuna Toreo. Not very often I go there to feed the ducks and lay down on the sand. This is one of my favourite special places in my community. I love to go to beaches and hang around with friends and family.

I have now explained 4 places that are special to me. One of my favourites is Tahuna Toreo. Some people have their own special places in the community. But this is my favourite one.     

Special Place:
One of the special places in the world is my home. My home is a special place because my family are there for me to keep me safe. I will be explaining 3 reasons why home is a special place to me.

As for some people say “home sweet home”. I love my home so much that every time I go somewhere far. I will always say “I miss home”. In my lovely house I live with my parents, my 2 siblings (Amelia & William) and also my grandpa. I have my first reason why home is a special place to me. It is because I get to do chores such as washing the dishes, cleaning our bedrooms, vacuuming, cleaning the shoes etc.
My second reason is that lots of my family members from my mum’s side and my dad’s side often comes and visits us when we are at home. We then have a break and chitchat for a little until we feel our stomachs rumbling. So we head to the kitchen and snack on some toast and biscuits and as for our beverage we drink Milo or Tea or just plain water or juice. For dinner my dad drives himself with his car to buy 2 buckets from KFC so that we can munch on YUMMY!!!! I have a lot of people in my family who are all around the world. Part of my extended family lives in Australia, here in Auckland, New Zealand and also in Tonga.

The third reason why my home is special because it is warm and cozy to snuggle in. In my house the are 3 bedrooms. 1 bedroom for my grandpa, 1 for my parents and my youngest brother and 1 bedroom for me and my sister. Each bedroom is so comfy and restful that I always wake up late in the morning for school.

This has now come to an end of explaining why my home is a special place in the community. I have explained 3 reasons why and also my introduction and conclusion.

This is my edited writing that I have written for my writing test from the past few weeks. I this explanation writing I have written about what place is special to me. The special place that is special to me is my home. I love my home really and I like when my family cherishes the memories we have had in our lovely home. I might have explained in my previous writing all the special places that is special to me but instead I chose my home to be my special place. It says in my previous writing that Tahuna Toreo is a special place in my community but since I have been editing. I have now found out what my true special place is.

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